CBT Essentials Part 6
Welcome to the sixth instalment of ‘CBT Essentials’ a mini-series within Forrest Rambles where I’m exploring the building blocks of CBT. If you’ve read the previous blogs in this mini-series you’ll have noticed that I often mention the importance of working with your therapist and taking an active part to make treatment more effective. This blog is going to focus on that and other aspects of the therapeutic relationship which are essential to CBT.
As a therapist I’ve spent a lot of my training learning about the importance of the therapeutic relationship and developing my interpersonal skills. There’s lots of research which supports the common sense idea that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is key to how effective therapy is. When we enter therapy we are very often in a vulnerable position because we’re asking for help with a problem which is upsetting us. It makes sense that we need to feel safe, to be able to trust the therapist and to be confident in their ability to help us.
Unfortunately it isn’t always the case that we have a good experience in therapy. Recently I listened to a fascinating (and terrifying) podcast called Dangerous Memories by Slow Tortoise Investigates, which highlighted just how wrong the therapeutic relationship can go. The podcast highlighted the fact that anyone can call themselves a therapist or counsellor. Yes, that’s right ANYONE! That’s why it’s so important that you check that your therapist is registered with a professional body such as the British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. These professional bodies check peoples training and continued professional practise and make them accountable to ethical codes of practice.
As well as unregulated people setting themselves up as therapists/counsellors, the other thing that gives me nightmares is how the therapeutic relationship is portrayed in popular media. It worries me the impression that this might give people about what to expect from therapy. Examples include Tina Fey’s portrayal in ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’, Betty Drapers therapist in Mad Men, Vera in End of Summer and Dr. Riviera in the film The Instigators. Sure, these are all simply entertainment but for those interested in something based on real life I’d recommend The Shrink Next Door staring Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell. This is exactly how the therapeutic relationship should NOT play out!
So, what should the therapeutic relationship look like? As with any relationship there is an element of ‘one size doesn’t fit all’. If you’re looking for a therapist take advantage of any initial free consultations that they might offer to get a feel for if they might be a good fit for you. Once you start therapy make sure that you feel a sense of warmth and genuine caring from them. You should feel that you can trust them with what you are sharing and that they know how best to help you. The therapeutic relationship can often feel very meaningful for both parties. Don’t be offended though if your therapist puts certain boundaries in place such as not being ‘friends’ on social media platforms. Any therapist worth their salt has certain professional boundaries to maintain.
In therapy the relationship is often seen as being similar to that of a sports coach and an athlete. The therapist will provide you with guidance and encouragement and then it’s up to you to put things into practice. Sometimes the relationship may also feel like that of a teacher and a pupil. Your therapist may give you information about your problem and the treatment, taking notes is a good idea and they are likely to set you homework. Therapists will often involve you in decisions which you may not be used to, we call this collaboration. The thinking behind this is that the therapist may be the expert on treatment but you are the expert on you! By working together with your therapist you’re more likely to see the changes which you’re hoping for.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of ‘CBT Essentials’. Please share the link via your Social Media platforms and join me next month to learn more about how to get the most from your therapy.